a baby crying

Since I live in a bit of a large apartment complex with many buildings you can often hear into the windows of other floors and sometimes other buildings. I just had some silence and I heard a baby crying in the distance. Its so interesting how someone else's child is just a noise, a thing, a fleeting look into what that is. But to me a baby means generations, history, future, present and just continuing the long branching of my family tree. I mean thousands of generations came before me and they existed and they did well, they kept themselves healthy and worked hard to live and exist. I know that my ancestors came from Russia/Poland but before that I don't know. I mean eventually perhaps with governments and politics, we will be all over the world? Where will my grandchildren be? my great-grandchildren? my great-great?

I have a record player/radio/tape player/CD Player but it shaped like an old fashion radio... Like the kind from the 1930s-40s-50s... Its amazing how time just passes. And we just drift with time. We can't stop it, we can't make it not happen. Life starts and stops w/out any warning really. I am thankful that I learned that early on and have felt that I have lived my life fully. Of course there are always bolder moves I could make, or larger steps I could do. But really as long as I am working towards some goal and just enjoying life. Then thats all that matters.

I kinda wish that I could have met some of my ancestors.. I had my great-grandma with me until I was in my early 20s so for that I am grateful. But I would have loved to learn about the life of my great-greats.. Especially the womyn. The ppl who share my DNA, who share my tastes.. Where did I get my passion for politics from? Where did I get everything from? I believe its all hidden in there somewhere.

I mean being Jewish especially, so many generations stopped b/c of the harshness of the world. But somehow my family managed to avoid it all. Wouldn't it be cool to track your family tree back hundreds of years like the royals do? I am thinking that I was going to start writing a handwritten journal for my child(ren) that they can pass along when they decide to have children or if they don't. However they choose to live their lifestyle I will support (as long as they marry Jewish).

I really want to connect with the Earth again. I feel the need to plant a tree, or flowers or something. I miss not having grass and being able to run barefoot across a lawn. I don't like the concrete jungle I kinda live in. At some point when I have children I am going to find affordable housing and have a lawn! There is still a bit in the air right now, so no changes as of yet :)