the next morning

So my hormones are not raging but pretty in my face. I haven't been overwhelmed by the procedural stuff of going to all the doctors appts, having the bloodwork or even picking donor sperm. But the sooner I get to start actually trying I can just feel the stress bubbling to the surface. But I am going to work on just breathing and trying to become calm.

This will be a joyous experience- gosh darnit!! I will make sure of it! :) There is so much stuff out there abt how this is a "life altering experience." And yes, I am sure it is- but so is everything if you think about. Any change you make in is life altering. You buy a car? Life altering! You see a movie that rocks- life altering! You go on a vacation- life altering! So therefore I don't intend to overwhelm myself with the overwhelming words of others. This will be a positive, non- stressfull experience and I am going to enjoy joining the ranks of millions of womyn.

I don't know. Life is how you present it to yourself. And I fully intend to make this a happy, candy-filled experience.

So yesterday I ordered the donor sperm. 3 vials. My Donor and his vials o' love are sitting in my local sperm bank waiting to be picked up at my leisure. My potential bebe daddy is on ice- literally! The great thing about having a baby via anonymous donor is that if this guy doesn't work out, I can choose another one. And another one. Till the right guy fits. Whereas if I was with a man I can't be like "sorry honey, you just aren't working out- gotta meet someone new." So thats cool. And this batch wasn't to expensive. This might be the one!

The reason my Blog is "Aloha-like" is because I had amazing connection Hawaii (that was life altering- ha!) and I wanted to give my child a Hawaiian middle name but I spoke to enough ppl who thought I was a little laffy-taffy myself, so in the end I might just call my child this name as a nickname but not give it to them :(. I hate bowing down to societal pressure but I want to start my child off on the best foot possible.

My goal for Monday other than just doing some errands is to buy a beautiful notebook in which I am going to start writing baby notes/messages and tell him/her how much I love them and am looking forward to meeting them. Awww.. I am gonna cry! G-d its so close, I can feel it.