daycare

So my little baby is 9 months old now. We have 2 teeth, smiles up a storm, very engaging- loves everyone. When he is shy, he puts his head down on his chest. He is a wonderful, adorable, sweet little baby. I love him every moment of every day. :D

Having said that, this summer I will be working at a full time job till mid August. Its a 3 month gig and during this time Eli will be in daycare. It will be a totally, different, new world for him and I am just really dealing with the unknown. Since he is not crawling/walking/talking yet, I have no feedback other than smiles about he feels about something. I wish he could tell me how he felt abt me going back to work, and what that would mean for him. Now since really none of us remember being 1 or 2 or 3, etc (my earliest memories are in 4th grade), I know that this will effect me more than it does him.

BUT, as his mother, its my job to place him in a good environment, one that is loving and safe and caring and sweet and nurturing. Which is a tall order for anyone really. I just don't want my beautiful baby stuck in a room all day and doing what everyone else is doing all day long. My parents will most likely pick him up in the early afternoonish so he won't be in daycare all day, but I will miss not being near him.

Alot of mothers work, always have, always will- so this is not a new scenario. And the daycare is in the same building that I will be working in- which is truly one of the main reasons I would even work there. They have the highest accrediation in the country, but none of that means jack if the love isn't there... But it could be, I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I am his mother, his primary source of love and life. I will always be his mother, and he is all mine at the end of the day. Well, until he is 10 and starts wanting to hang out with his friends more than me.

Thats another thing- everyone tells me that babyhood is short and I must enjoy every minute of it. But, its a mixture of being realistic and needing to pay bills and doing the best I can really.

I think it will just play itself out really. If its meant to be, it will be, if not, then not.

Okay- tis it for now!