No Go on #2

Well, I haven't had Auntie Flo visit yet, but I am 99.99999% sure I am not pregnant this cycle, knew abt 3-4 days ago. No signs, was feeling good, just feeling normal, I was so confident that I wasn't preggers that I started drinking caffeine and lifting heavy stuff again. I am starting a garden which requires alot of muscle so I hope to get this garden plowed and planted w/some cold weather seed before I go into my next 2 week wait.

There are so many options of things to do in life. Just so many. Having a 2nd child is a luxury- it is, many people can't do it for a host of reasons. I don't know what I will do if I can't have a 2nd child, I mean it took me 5 months to have Eli, and I am only ending month #2, but I want to keep at it for a while longer. I am going to end up trying in April and again in May before taking summer off for camp. I don't know.

I am so busy everyday, and I don't know how I feel abt not getting preggers yet. I am not gonna super dwell just quite yet b/c its to soon and to early in my trying to give up. I just need to give myself a break- mentally- abt it all, and just do myself to make my son and I live the fullest life we can each day.

I hope G-d grants me the ability to have a sibling for my child, so we shall just see. I know I have time, energy and muscle on my side so thats good. I think if I were to do something different next cycle is I am going to start walking everyday, even if its only for like 10ish minutes. The weather is slowly starting to come back to normal, and at this rate our spring/summer is only going to be like 6ish months so I want to enjoy as much as I can before it gets cold again!

So I am going to walk everyday, I am going to eat healthy this time around and I think spend more time being in a quiet spots to let my body do the work it needs to...

Acckkk, now Aunt Flo needs to come on Thurs so I can begin again. Woohoo!